[ and korra rocks back on her heels from the impact of bolin's body against hers, and it takes her a few moments of feeling their hearts beating together before she wraps her arms around bo's torso and hides her face against his shoulder. because it was torture, knowing there was nothing she could do at that moment and knowing if she even ever did try to do something about it she might fall down into that pit and never recover.
silently, her shoulders start to tremble, and she tightens her hold on her friend.
it's so scary, knowing where they are and what they're expected to do, knowing that at any moment she could lose her mind to her emotions — get angry, get that need to react and not listen to the part of her head that says no, no, no, you're better than this. it's scary watching your best friend get almost torn apart with a weapon you don't understand. it's utterly horrifying knowing that his family is here and likely to suffer a similar fate if she can't keep an eye on him. and she has to. she promised.
as hot tears press to her cheeks, korra feels the shift of mako's scarf around her neck, suddenly becoming itchy and distracting, and it's probably the only thing keeping her from breaking down right now. ]
I don't wanna be Kyoshi. [ it slips out in between quiet sobs as her fingers grip bolin's shirt more tightly, feeling her hands shake with the effort. of course when she was learning about the past avatars she admired kyoshi for being a beacon of female strength, someone korra could relate to — but she always wanted to continue on aang's legacy, to bring balance and peace even through her own means, and she never saw killing people as a means to that end. ] I could have killed her and whenever I see her face, I want to.
[ and there it goes. light, like her tears, comes pouring forth onto that darkest part of her as she finds she can't deny it any longer. she's not even sure if bolin will understand; all she knows is that bolin's never judged her in the past. it's why she clings to him so tightly now as her sobs slowly build in volume as she struggles to speak. ]
But I can't— I don't—... I'm the Avatar, [ she says finally through another sob, ] shouldn't I be fighting against that?
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silently, her shoulders start to tremble, and she tightens her hold on her friend.
it's so scary, knowing where they are and what they're expected to do, knowing that at any moment she could lose her mind to her emotions — get angry, get that need to react and not listen to the part of her head that says no, no, no, you're better than this. it's scary watching your best friend get almost torn apart with a weapon you don't understand. it's utterly horrifying knowing that his family is here and likely to suffer a similar fate if she can't keep an eye on him. and she has to. she promised.
as hot tears press to her cheeks, korra feels the shift of mako's scarf around her neck, suddenly becoming itchy and distracting, and it's probably the only thing keeping her from breaking down right now. ]
I don't wanna be Kyoshi. [ it slips out in between quiet sobs as her fingers grip bolin's shirt more tightly, feeling her hands shake with the effort. of course when she was learning about the past avatars she admired kyoshi for being a beacon of female strength, someone korra could relate to — but she always wanted to continue on aang's legacy, to bring balance and peace even through her own means, and she never saw killing people as a means to that end. ] I could have killed her and whenever I see her face, I want to.
[ and there it goes. light, like her tears, comes pouring forth onto that darkest part of her as she finds she can't deny it any longer. she's not even sure if bolin will understand; all she knows is that bolin's never judged her in the past. it's why she clings to him so tightly now as her sobs slowly build in volume as she struggles to speak. ]
But I can't— I don't—... I'm the Avatar, [ she says finally through another sob, ] shouldn't I be fighting against that?